A squirt gun would never be mistaken for a real gun, right? Dive into the thought-provoking world of Water. Gun. Argument and challenge what we choose to believe. A thought provoking and powerful piece in a docu-theatre style.

Theatrefolk - The Drama Teacher Resource Company
The Baloney, the Pickle, the Zombies, and Other Things I Hide From My Mother

The Baloney, the Pickle, the Zombies, and Other Things I Hide From My Mother

by Bradley Walton

“What are you doing with the baloney?” That’s the question Emma asks her big brother Trevor when she finds him in the kitchen at 2 A.M.

But Trevor is up to much more than a late night snack — he’s bringing food to life with experiments he hopes will lead to the creation of zombies he can sell as cheap laborers.

Together with his living baloney-minon, Meyer, Trevor is about to embark on a night in which he will face an angry neighbor, be questioned by police, bring a pickle to life, and discover that his food may actually be smarter than he is... all while trying to keep everything secret from his mother and little sister.

Comedy Black Comedy

Average Producer Rating:

Recommended for High Schools and Middle Schools

About 30 minutes
Times given are approximate and do not include intermissions/scene changes/breaks
8 Characters
1 F | 7 Any Gender, Doubling Possible
Simple Set
34 pages
Production Tips
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Performance Royalty Fees

Royalty fees apply to all performances whether or not admission is charged. Any performance in front of an audience (e.g. an invited dress rehearsal) is considered a performance for royalty purposes.

Exemption details for scenes and monologues for competition.

We accept

Praise for The Baloney, the Pickle, the Zombies, and Other Things I Hide From My Mother

Korey Cantrell
North High
We did a class production and liked it enough to take it to competition. Everyone involved--students, audience, teachers, liked the show and enjoyed the humor.
Joseph Murphy
Rogers Middle School
Middle school audiences will love the humor and absurdity in this play.
Marla Johnson
Eudora Middle School
Students enjoy portraying the quirky characters and the staging is fairly simple. This was perfect for our group of eight students.

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